You’ve worked your entire life to land the job you wanted. You’re excited, eager to learn, and ready to contribute. The environment around you seems positive—colleagues are looping you into discussions, sharing information, and giving constructive feedback. Everything feels aligned with what you expected from a world-class organization that invests in developing its talent. But then, there’s that one person—someone who seems to have it out for you. At first, it’s just a feeling, a subtle tension that creates anxiety when they’re around. Then, their tone changes. The feedback they give is harsh, and you start questioning whether it’s constructive or personal. The situation escalates, leaving you wondering: How do I deal with this? When is it time to escalate? How do I handle this while maintaining my self-respect? These situations are tough, especially in high-pressure environments like Wall Street or the military, where excellence is demanded, and perfectionism is the norm. You want to be part of an elite group of professionals, but that doesn’t mean you have to tolerate disrespect or unprofessional behavior. Step 1: Assess the Situation Objectively Before taking any action, step back and ask yourself two key questions: Is this person giving me tough but constructive feedback that I’m not used to?  Or have they crossed the line into disrespect and unprofessionalism? A demanding work environment is not the same as a hostile work environment. In high-performance cultures, getting critical professional feedback is part of growth. However, if their behavior creates persistent anxiety, undermines your ability to function, and makes you feel unwelcome or unsafe, that’s a different issue. Step 2: Address It Privately & Directly The first step is to handle the issue one-on-one. Public confrontations make people defensive, causing them to double down. Instead, find a private moment, find the courage (even if you are scared) and look them in the eye. Say something direct but professional:  “I’m here to learn and contribute, but I don’t appreciate the hostile work environment.” Those words are a shot across the bow. Any professional who’s been in the industry long enough knows that being accused of creating a hostile work environment is a career-threatening situation. Most people will immediately take a step back and adjust their behavior because they know the long-term consequences. If you find the courage to address it directly, you’re not only standing up for yourself—you’re also improving the environment for others who may lack the confidence to do the same. Step 3: Follow Up with an Email If the behavior continues after the verbal warning, it’s time to document it. Send them a calm, professional email:  “I mentioned in our conversation the other day that I felt your behavior was unprofessional and disrespectful. Since then, it has occurred again, so I want to reiterate that I do not appreciate that kind of communication.” At this stage, you’re escalating in a controlled way. Now there’s a written record. This isn’t just a verbal exchange that can be denied or forgotten. Step 4: Escalate to a Manager or Program Leader If the issue persists after both the verbal and written warnings, it’s time to bring in someone higher up. If the person causing the issue is your direct manager, go one level above them. If your company has a talent development or HRBP (HR Business partner), engage those leaders as well.  Schedule a private meeting with them and clearly outline the steps you’ve taken. If the firm is well-run, they will take this seriously because maintaining a professional environment is in everyone’s best interest.  Step 5: Engage HR as a Last Resort If all else fails, HR exists for a reason. A professional HR team is trained to handle these situations independently, ensuring that company values are upheld and that no one person can create a toxic environment unchecked. When you bring an issue to HR, make sure you have a clear timeline and documentation—your verbal conversation, follow-up email, and any additional incidents. They will investigate and take appropriate action if needed. Why This Approach Works Many early-career professionals fear that speaking up will hurt their careers. The truth is, it’s the other way around. The person acting unprofessionally likely has far more to lose than you do—they have years of reputation and credibility at stake. If you approach the situation professionally, constructively, and with a clear escalation process, the risk is much higher for them than for you.  Moreover, by standing up for yourself, you will feel a sense of self-respect, and set the tone not just for your career, but for those who come after you. Toxic behaviors often persist because no one checks them. By addressing the issue early, you help create a culture where talent can thrive—free from hostility, anxiety, and unnecessary distractions. Final Thoughts Dealing with workplace conflict is part of navigating a high-performance career. The key is knowing how to growth through constructive criticism, but when to draw the line against toxicity. Follow these steps, trust your instincts, and remember—you have every right to work in an environment where you can perform at your best. The strongest professionals aren’t just those who endure challenges but those who take control of their careers and create opportunities for themselves and others. ** Get on the “Early-Bird” list for my FREE masterclass coming soon ** “How to Future-Proof Your Career in an AI-Driven World Without getting left behind!”Frank Van Buren is the founder of Van Buren Advisory LLC, formed in 2024 after retiring from a 26-year career at Wells Fargo in the Corporate & Investment Banking Division.